A Journey of Healing through the lens 

It was in the shadow of my grief that I found mindful photography, or maybe it found me. My grieving process was sudden, dark, and consuming. I struggled to move forward with the normal activities of life, going to work, seeing friends and family, even the basics of eating, sleeping and bathing were a struggle.  Being a counsellor, I understood that grief was a process, that my sense of normal had been shattered and that feeling the feelings, giving myself space and time to move through the web and flow of grieving was the way forward. What I didn’t know was what to do next, how to get through each day, each moment with these thoughts and feelings that would flood my heart, mind, and spirit.  

I had received a red Nikon Coolpix camera as a gift some time ago but had rarely used it. I had an interest in photography, a fleeting yearning to connect with my creative side, but I hadn’t really pursued this interest in any meaningful way.  Little did I know, this little red camera would become a lifeline during the darkest days of my grief.  One day, at one of my lowest moments, when the darkness of my grief swept over me, when I could barely find the strength to get out of bed or brush my teeth, I made a decision. I needed to force myself to get outside, be in Nature.  I had always felt a sense of peace and calm in Nature.  There was something about being amongst the trees, the plants, even the moss on the ground that I felt understood and supported somehow.  It was a place I could be alone, but not feel alone if that makes sense.   So, in the darkest time of my grieving, I decided, today I was going to take my little red camera, get on my bike and ride the woodland trails near my house. I was going to feel the wind on my face, take a deep breath of fresh air, ride my bike until my body ached, and just allow the tears to flow for as long as they needed to.  Thus it began . . . my journey back to myself through the lens.  Each day, I forced myself to do this . . . and each day I felt my mind/body/spirt reconnect with the healing power of Nature and with my little red camera in hand,  I started to explore the Natural world through my lens.  This was life changing in more ways than I even realized at the time. In my reflections, this was the lifeline I needed to keep moving froward, with my grief, with my loss, and the way I discovered myself again, or maybe rather, a truer sense of myself, then I had known before.  

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Today, several years later, nature photography has become not only a huge passion of mine and something I share with my partner, but it has become a vital part of my wellness practice.  It has offered me a way to explore my relationship with the natural world and mindfully connect with Nature and wildlife in a transformative way. It has become a source of grounding, safety, and calm for me during my hardest of times, and a way to connect with my thoughts, feelings, and my senses, instilling hope and a way forward.  It has helped me connect with something greater than my sorrows and personal challenges, offering an expansive perspective and awareness through the pain and hurt, through the fatigue and exhaustion, through the depression and the anxiety.   

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